I almost did it today.
I was this close!!
I got most of the way through the day without swearing.
And my house is pretty tidy, if you don’t look to close.
The laundry is washed and dried, it just needs folding.
Our meal was really healthy…leftovers.
I got my self care in…while doing Ben’s flush and getting him snacks.
I got my dogs out for their walk…after they were home alone for hours.
The bills got paid! (This one I actually did!!)
And I never feel quite adequate.
And I always feel like I monkey around too much.
And when I spend an hour a day exercising I feel like I should be more industrious. And when I’m industrious I wish I had taken time for a workout.
When I take the time to repurpose a chair I regret not packing (or cleaning or being more productive). And when I spend hours packing I longingly look at the chair I’m dying to paint.
Most days I could go on like this infinitely; world without end.
The other day my sister jokingly called the story of her life “Choose the regrets you can live with.” (I believe she meant large scale regrets, and I’m totally taking liberty with it).
Choose the regrets you can live with.
I paid the bills, because that’s a regret I know don’t want to live with.
Long term, I’m not willing to regret a life without regular exercise.
Long term, I am willing to accept a never-quite-tidy-house.
I’m willing for some things to take the back seat in order to have the time and energy to nurture my marriage and my children I’m willing to let some things slide in order to stay emotionally and physically healthy enough to manage our household
When I look at life through that lens, it’s easy to decide what gets priority. Myself, my marriage, my kids, in varying order depending on the circumstances.
It might take some getting used to, deciding to just suck it up and live with certain regrets. It seems I’m awfully good at wallowing in them instead.
And so far that’s gotten me a grand total of nowhere.
Except sapping my energy. Or beating myself up. Don’t forget wasting time agonizing over taking care of myself.
Because that’s productive.
Ya know what? I’m pretty proud of my chair. After a workout my brain is organized, and I’m more effective in my tasks.
So what would happen if I simply shed the regrets and listen to what I know my family and I need…with a cuss word thrown in here or there for emphasis.