parenting · special needs parenting · Uncategorized

“Should Have Aborted” (said the troll)

While I don’t want to give any undue attention to a troll, a rotten comment on one of my posts seems like an opportunity to examine the notion that we “should have aborted”. 

Abortion was never an option for me. I don’t suppose that surprises any readers. From the moment I knew I was pregnant I delighted in my children, and spent days fascinated by the magic occurring within me and the outside changes to my body. 

I didn’t suspect that my children would be born with a disability, and naively I just decided that I would love them no matter what, and declined any and all testing. 

When Alex was born and we were told he likely had Down syndrome (the testing takes several days to return, but we had accepted the diagnosis before it was confirmed), we were taken aback. I wondered if my husband would still want to bestow his grandfather’s name upon our son (he did), I wondered if our marriage would survive (it did, and I have since learned that parents who have kids with Down syndrome have a lower rate of divorce than average). There were many more questions and doubts both immediately and over the following years. 

Even though sometimes it’s tricky and tiring, I have never, even for the briefest moment, wondered if we should have aborted. 

If we had aborted we would have missed out on the sweetest boofy baby hair and the best smiles ever. 

If we had aborted, we would have missed out on so much joy, laughter, and fun. 

If we had aborted we might have missed out on a more unconditional love than we have ever witnessed elsewhere. 

If we had aborted we would have missed the best hugs ever. 

If we had aborted we would have missed many milestones which were only sweetened by their late arrival. 

If we had aborted we never would have known that Down syndrome would change us so much that we would want another child who has it. 

In the end, I feel compassion for the person who would troll a parent of a child with a disability by saying they should have aborted. I’m thankful we were able to see Alex as a child, a treasured human being who has so much to offer in this world. 

Last, it’s hard to be offended when your heart is full, so you picked on the wrong mama, you troll, but I did report it because I don’t know who you might troll next, and if it’s someone in a rough patch, I hope to spare them the stress. 

Best wishes troll-man, I hope that some day your grinch heart manages to grow. 

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2 thoughts on ““Should Have Aborted” (said the troll)

  1. As Alex’s grandma I am so very grateful you would never consider an abortion. He has brought us so much joy. We thank God for him.

    Like

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