silliness · Uncategorized

9 Reasons You Won’t See Me Drinking a Unicorn Frappuccino

Out of the blue I’m seeing this Starbucks Frappucinno that looks like cotton candy swirled with sin. From the first moment I saw it I swore I’d never taste a sip, and for good reasons:

  1. I might default on my mortgage to pay for it. 
  2. I happen to be awfully fond of my pancreas. 
  3. My imagination is a touch too active and I get the heebeegeebees over the idea of partaking of a unicorn. 
  4. I’m afraid I’ll hate it and be salty for a week over spending all that money on a lousy drink
  5. I’m afraid I’ll love it and crave more. 
  6. My mama taught me I don’t have to do what all the other kids are doing. 
  7. If I’m dropping my hard earned cash at a Starbucks there had darn well better be caffeine involved!
  8. A fairy dies every time a barista mixes one. 
  9. But mostly because I’m stubborn and ornery. 

I’m passing on this craze, after all I’m pretty partial to my preexisting cravings, but if you do claim to partake, it didn’t happen unless there’s a selfie involved; bonus points for a Snapchat filter!

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2 thoughts on “9 Reasons You Won’t See Me Drinking a Unicorn Frappuccino

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