We are moving. Relocating about 200 miles away from here. I feel like I’m shedding our home like a snake sheds it’s skin. It’s been uncomfortable for some time now, and so we’re wriggling out. It takes some effort and time, but when it’s done…
I have this irrational belief that moving is going to somehow be the 180 degree turn that will make everything different, more normal. That elusive light at the end of a nearly endless tunnel.
We’ve often joked that Murphey’s law should be renamed “Mshar’s Law” after us, because in our world there is nothing more true than the epigram “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”
There is no rational reason to believe that any of that will change. There is nothing logical about any of this, yet here I am, eager to shed this outgrown skin. To get the heck out of here and not look back.
It’s not that this has been a straight up bad chapter in our lives, many good people have walked into our lives here. They have impacted us, and we love them, we will miss them, and it’s not an eagerness to leave the many beloved people here that is behind this feeling.
I believe that this stage of life is simply done. Even if circumstances don’t actually change, as a caterpillar cocoons itself and then emerges as a moth (I’m no butterfly, thankyouverymuch) I do believe that I, and our family, has been in the intermediate stage of life here, and that we simply must emerge or die (figuratively, of course). Change is inevitable and good, and a normal part of growth. As we have grown, our needs have changed, and we need to make external changes to accommodate us.
Maybe it’s not logical, rational, or reasonable to hope that with this change that we will have smooth sailing for a bit, but I’ve never put quite enough stock in rational. Instead I will hope that the winds of change are blowing us into a new direction entirely, while maintaining a realistic skepticism about the actual likelihood of that. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on how it all plays out.