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The Best Guide to the Holidays for Terrible Gifters

Welp, here we are.  It’s mid-November, and once again I have no idea what I’m getting my loved ones for Christmas. This is the time of year that I find myself wandering around Target until I’m in a frenzy, spending hundreds of dollars and getting home to find that I have nothing of use. I’m a terrible gifter, and knowing that I’m a terrible gifter means that I enter this season of gift giving with trepidation, anticipating failure yet again.  In a concerted effort to avoid making the grandest of failures to date, I have come up with a few strategies for gifting this year, and because I’m both brilliant and generous, I thought would share them with you.  You could even consider it a gift.

  1. Have a few more election arguments.  It’s sure to pare down your gift-giving list and get you knocked off the guest list for at least a couple of parties.
  2. Avoid holiday gatherings at all costs.  This comes naturally to us introverts, and the plus is that you’re sure to save yourself time, money and sanity.
  3. Make a calendar of photos of yourself to give to everyone on your list.  There are great deals on photo books this time of year for a reason, man!  C’mon, who wouldn’t want 12 months of this: img_2631
  4. Socks and undies.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone needs socks and undies.  Especially the people who think they don’t need them.
  5. Food.  Everyone eats, so food is a great gift, right?
  6. Target gift cards.  They’re the ultimate solution.  If, on the odd chance that someone doesn’t like Target (and who doesn’t love Target?!), then they can regift the gift card for that one gift they forgot, and you just did them a solid favor.
  7. Gloves, hats, mittens and slippers.  Because it’s cold here in the northern hemisphere during the holidays.
  8. Regift!  You had to have gotten some things last year that you never used, hopefully you saved them and can pass them along to some other poor schmuck.
  9. Call for a white elephant gift exchange.  You really can’t lose with white elephant.  If your gift blows, then it’s a joke gift, if it’s awesome, even better.

Really though, chances are that anyone that matters in your life knows that you’re a crummy gifter, and they love you anyway.  So whatever you give, give with love and sincerity, and chances are you will make it through the holiday season just fine.

 

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