Scrolling through social media there are a hundred ways I can feel like I don’t measure up to mommy standards. Jenny had the best bento box lunches, and I feel guilty for just writing a check for school lunch. Sally has an organization system to die for, and I’m all too aware that I can’t organize my way out of a paper bag. In fact, unless you made the last episode of hoarders, I can guarantee that your organizational skills beat mine. Betty just accomplished a monumental to-do list, and Kelly made a meal that would make Paula Deen drool.
So often I close my Facebook app feeling like I don’t measure up. Many days I feel like I’m just getting by, and that in the mommy wars I’m only winning at losing.
Then I look through my own feed. I’ve written a bunch of blog posts lately, most of which I am pretty darn proud of. I make time for fitness and self care, and my garden is nothing to scoff at. It suddenly occurs to me that I’m measuring myself with someone else’s stick.
So why do I do this? Why do I let I let someone else’s achievements steal my joy and satisfaction? Why do I fall prey, over and over, to the “grass is greener” mentality? It’s ludicrous for me to keep feeling like I’m not keeping up when we aren’t even racing.
I have seen calls for women to stop using social media to make ourselves appear better than we are, but don’t we do that anyway? Isn’t that why we have slimming bathing suits, push up bras and make up? It’s not like keeping up with the Jones started with social media, it’s just a modern venue for an age old problem.
No, I don’t think I need you to stop putting your best foot forward, I think I need to just take it all in stride, and know that each of us sometimes feels like we’re failing, and each of us is just doing our best. I need to admit that you are better at some things than I am, and give you credit for that, while not diminishing my own abilities and strengths. Each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made and each of us has days in which our joy makes our hearts fit to burst and days which bring us to our knees.
Dear mommy, I call for truth, and I call for a truce. Go ahead and share what you’re good at, and I’ll send you a like, in sincere joy, and not let it diminish my own gifts. Let’s call a truce, for the sake of our own hearts. You’re doing good, dear mommy, and so am I.