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I am so that mom

I will walk past a basket of clean laundry for four days before I sit down to fold it.  Of course that’s after waiting until the hamper is overflowing and stuffing the high capacity machine to the brim because I walked past the dirty laundry all week. 

I wait to vacuum until I can have the satisfaction of seeing the debris on the floor sucked up into the cleaner and hear the larger particles rattle up the tubes. If I can walk through the house without crumbs sticking to my socks the vacuum doesn’t come out. 

I dust only after I can write poetry in the light specks on the dresser, and when I do it’s usually with the dirty shirt on top of the hamper in a rush to get rid of the shameful snow that has accumulated.

I am the mom who lets my youngest have cottage cheese, two pieces of pizza, a bowl of cereal and a cookie for breakfast.  

On rainy, sick or otherwise crummy days I can veg behind my tablet or phone for prolonged periods whilst my kids do the same.

I mop my kitchen floor only after something sticky spills on it, which means it’s actually the cleanest area of my house.

When given a choice between domestic duties or running, gardening, or farting around I will always chose the latter, often to my own detriment.

I am that mom.  I tend toward laziness and half-assery.  I work in bursts, and only as much as necessary.  I accomplish the necessary, and leave the for another day…or week. My house is never actually gross, at least not for long, but it’s never quite clean either.  

I’d like to say it’s because of the demands of parenting, because I prioritize my kids, and that’s somewhat true, but I suspect that once the kids are no longer in need of my constant attention I still won’t be in the running for good housekeeping awards. 


I am that mom. That mom that gets by.  The one whose house can sometimes be embarrassing when visitors come by unannounced.   The one who shoves the laundry basket into the corner so I don’t feel as guilty walking around it for the 37th time this week. It’s not the housework is beneath me, it’s that in a perfect world it should be beneath me.  At least I would like to believe that.

But I’m over feeling guilty about it. Life is hard enough without adhering to random standards that you don’t truly value and allowing them to disrupt your peace. 

So I’ll be that mom.  I’ll name it and claim it. I’m the head honcho of half-assery and that’s not going to change.  So suck it housekeeping standards and mom guilt. I’m fine as is. 

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7 thoughts on “I am so that mom

  1. So yeah, you could say you took the words right out of my mouth. When it comes to clean laundry it will either sit in a massive pile on my kitchen table or folded neatly in the bin for days and days until I work up the motivation to take care of it. And as for cleaning, I’ll also clean when it gets to the point of grossness so I feel accomplished and even then I never, and I mean never, have that perfect house. I’m a mom, I work as a full time nanny outside of my home and when I am home I’m fixing meals or enjoying one on one time with my family and that my friend is good enough!

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  2. I will forever be grateful for the term “head honcho of half-assery.” It’s like you described my life in five words. Thanks for not making me feel alone.

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  3. I love this! I am right there half-assing household chores with you! I have had enough life experiences and lessons to know that enjoying myself and my daughter is way more important and essential than a tidy house. If only my husband were on the same page – it causes much trouble in our relationship 🙁

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  4. I am also so that mom my house is a mess and I struggle to work and maintain the level of cleanliness that I want so thank you I am too the queen of half assery and I say half asses unite!

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